Fame, Fortune and Fail

Today on Weekend Report we celebrate the humor of the fail.  It would seem that in spite of our ambition and lust for winning Slytherins can in fact sometimes go astray. 

Showing us that in fact there might be such a thing as too long at sea, Polcamilla trapped on a cruise ship managed to make this extraordinarily gargantuan sock.  As anyone around the snake pit can tell you, fail and Polcamilla don't really seem to go together.  My theory - she can knit without looking and was busy watching hotties peruse the deck.  Just a theory. 

Thank you for sharing your most lovely of fails and you win(?) my latest fail.....a first attempt at making polymer clay stitch markers.  Meh.  I warned you there was an experiment in the works.  Feel free to throw them out upon receipt.


In other disappointing news my best worst this term was this small dog.  It is wrong on so many levels.  1.  Needles too small for yarn weight leading to much struggling and cursing.  2.  Apparently I used my foot or some other less than coordinated limb to stuff it.  3.  It appears that someone strangled the dog to make his eyes pop out to an enormous size.  Not even my terminally out of focus camera could have saved this one.

Well, that's really all I've got for this week.  It's been a great term.  Three months, crazy amounts of crafting, a cool group of firsties about to graduate the first year and excellent conversations.  Good luck in the wee hours tonight finishing up your homework and OWLs.  I'll see you all at the end of term bonfire.  I'll be the one wearing strategically placed carnations and drinking bourbon out of the house cup that yes, will be ours once again.

Guyliner Hottie Winner

I am thrilled to report that the winner of this past week's hottie contest, Hotties in Guyliner is none other than ... David Tennant! A perennial favorite in the Dungeon, best know for his role as Doctor Number 10, he stars in the upcoming remake of the 1980's horror/comedy film, Fright Night. And boy does he wear that guyliner! Rumor has it that he spends much of the movie in leather trousers as well, but if you need yet more reasons to see him on the big screen next month, check out the below gallery. Especially the first pic, which just screams Hottie King of Slytherin.

This is ElfLiberator, signing off. I'll be in my bunk.
::Geminio sextuplo::

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our top story, Transfiguration Disaster.  Fed up with her OWL an anonymous snake fired a hex at Mistress of OWL Oversight, SeaShelly this week.  Attempts at protego failed and when the smoke cleared it was revealed that her arms had been transfigured into her weapon of choice - the whip.  Smiling like a sexy Doc Ock, SeaShelley brushed herself off and introduced a new form of loving discipline deemed the "Whip Hug".  One snake was quoted as saying, "Wow, makes me kind of wish I hadn't finished my OWL so early."

Weather:  Hot, hot and more hot so who really cares?

In other stories, snakes continued to hand in homework in an attempt to keep our lead in point secure.  Let's look at what was lighting up the classrooms this week.

Alrischa in Ancient Runes

CubeJelly in Muggle Studies

Tangledav in Care of Magical Creatures

DeadAlchemist in DADA

AuntTallulah in History of Magic

BrittanyLaine in Arithmancy

Oshelle in Potions

Jesmy in Charms

Forgivable Curse of the Week:  Sweet Snape's retroactive badges of glory!

Well, that's all for me snakes.  Off to try and pull off a miracle shawl in three days.

Hottie of the Week theme

Hi again folks! I almost forgot to announce the theme for this next week's Hottie-off! Inspired by GothKnitty and her pic of David Tennant in the upcoming Fright Night remake: ... (drumroll) ... Hotties in Guyliner!

Post your nomination pics of your favorite hottie men wearing eyeliner in the Bring Forth the Hotties thread in the Snake Pit (Gothy hottie women in lots of eyeliner are always appreciated too!). Voting will commence on Sunday night!

Revenge of the Nerds!

Okay snakes, it's time to announce the winner of this past week's Hottie Contest, from the Harry-Potter era Hogwarts students. Who would have ever guessed that the most votes would go to ... NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM!

Yes, that's right, awkward, clumsy little Neville (played by Matthew Lewis) grew up to be quite a heartbreaker, and Slytherin House is standing up to recognize!

Our hero started out with low self-confidence and very few cool points:


























But in just a few short years, he grew out of the trials of puberty and joined the ranks of official Slytherin-recognized Hotties:






























Let's hear it for Matthew Lewis as Neville Longbottom!

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our Top Story this week Mascot Rights.  Heated discussions took place in the common room over the ethical ramifications and preparation methods for astrological animals.  With Astronomy not on the class list this term Slytherins felt safe embracing the tasty possibilities of twin fish, and angry mutton.  Frowned on was the ingestion of mermaids and virgins though future debates will be held to determine the correct usage of the term "eat".

Weather:  Work on your OWL or SeaShelly will rain fire down upon thee.

In other stories Quidditch continues the quest for immortality.  The Slytherin stands erupted with a roar as Gothknitty scored with all three Hallows!  Let's look at the highlight reel.

Invisibility Cloak

Elder Wand

Resurrection Stone

Forgivable Curse of the Week:  Mandrake Butt! Can be used as an expletive, "Ahhhhrgg Mandrake Butt!", or a proper noun, "Please pass the salt to Mandrake Butt at the end of the table."

From the Sub-human Interest Desk - The End.  How fitting it is that our last chance to dress like a middle aged boarding school girl and go to a midnight movie coincides with the end of term.  It's got me wondering what you all do on the months in between terms.  Do you still craft HP themed things?  Do you skim the books looking for obscure references you may have forgotten?  Or do you drink away the previous term's OWL memories and renew your vows as a born again muggle?  Leave a comment - it gives me something to do in boring meetings.

This is Rockinsticks saying - 15 more days.

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our top story...DUCK!!!!! Or rather OWL.  Nine days into July and three spectacular Slytherins have put their pencils down and turned in their OWLs to the examiners. 
The Lambchop00 and KnitInferno showed off their mastery of multiples of footwear with four pairs of socks each.

KnitInferno



LambChop00

Meanwhile in the Care of Magical Creatures paddock, 2nd year snake Oshelle tamed the mighty Bowtruckle with over 3,000 yards of stash busted.

Nice work ladies lots of points for the noble house of Slytherin much warmth and cozy toes for you. 

Weather:  Buffalo golden solar flares expected to force all of us to abandon our computers in favor of finishing our OWLs.

In other stories, Hottie Camouflage Spells.  It was revealed this week that dark arts have been at work in Gryffindor Tower.  Our lovely tower dwelling fiends have found a way to magically render hotties to look unappealing to the general population. 

Exhibit one:

Disguised Hottie:

Same Hottie sans camouflage spell

One has to wonder what the so called "fat lady" in the portrait really looks like. Could mastery of this spell be the secret for finally allowing each Slytherin to take their favorite hottie with them throughout the castle? 

Forgivable Curse:  Slippery pickles of itchiness!

Finally from the Subhuman Interest Desk, talking to yourself.  So what do you as an everyday dungeon dweller want to see more of on the Slytherblog?  What do you want to see less of?  Leave a comment and let me know. 

That's all for this week.  I've got to go crank out 9 more mini socks so that I can make the OWL feature myself one day.  Keep working on those OWLs and awesome classwork.

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report, wait, no, maybe it is Snake Stalking, no um maybe Hottie of the week....

a mildly leather clad hottie walks to the desk and firmly slaps Rockinsticks across the face.

Thank you Sven.  As I was saying, this is weekend report.  In our top story decisions.  The first few days of July saw Slytherin housemates rich with choices.  Are they to jump right in to the new and exciting homework assignments, do they buckle down and knock out their OWLs, face up the the Headmistress Challenge or continue the pursuit of Horcruxes and Hallows.  In true Slytherin form stash was sorted and plans formulated for racking up points the last month of the term.  One hottie was quoted as saying, "My mistress, she is so distracted.  I try to soothe her and she swats me and not in the way I prefer."

Weather:  A mildly strong high low front will be plying singles through the night.

In other stories classes are up and challenging to say the least.  Snakes will really need to stroke their crafting and creativity muscles to tie classes into their work.  It was this reporter's intention to provide some suggested patterns, but frankly I am stumped.  Inspired yet stumped.  Maybe some of you have some thoughts?

Forgivable Curse:  Holy swift and wound up balls!

Finally from the subhuman interest desk I'm simply going to direct you to last week's subhuman interest desk segment.  I've received two jokes for Mistress Dru.  I realize she is back and better than ever, but lets go ahead and collect a few more anyway.  Who couldn't use a card full of jokes.

This is Rockinsticks and her bottle of gin big grin saying settle down snakes we got 31 days.