In preparation for the November 26th Seeker Challenge a thread was started asking our common room mates to comment on what it means to be in Slytherin. Extraordinary seekers Linuxchic and Rockinsticks compiled these comments into the following theatrical production which was presented on the pitch this weekend. We now present a command performance for Her Head of Houseness Girlywithatwist.
Desperately Seeking Slytherin: A Dungeon Party in Two Acts
Act I
The curtain rises on a luxuriously appointed common room. There are rich tapestries on the walls a bar up stage and lush carpets. Topless and scantily clad hotties roam the room serving drinks to a group of outstandingly good looking men and women lounging on the green leather sofas and bar stools working with yarn. On the mantle there is a large bell jar with a brain sitting on a pedestal under it.
SUENOSDEJMI enters through a stone archway stage left walks to the center of the common room. All action stops as everyone looks at her.
SUENOSDEJMI: Guys, I’ve had an absolutely horrid day. (She takes a drink offered by a hottie. To hottie) Thanks.
AERIEIRIS: I made some cheesecake, chocolate chip muffins and super chocolate brownies…and there is an entire bread and cheese plate if you are not in the mood for sweets. Oh and a pitcher of sangria too.
SUENOSDEJMI: Can I say that the best thing about being in Slytherin , aside from the eternal fame and glory is the fact that not only does everyone here offer sympathy when I’ve had a sucky day, but you all engage in a discussion of the best way to dispose of the body. Slytherin gives me the snark and sarcasm that is as crucial to my existence as oxygen.
SEAKAME: Embracing the crazy and the snark and sticking together through thick and thin. That’s what it is all about.
BIDBID looks up from an over sized martini glass in which she is dying a large pile of fingering weight yarn.
BIDBID: Yes. There is no better place to get sympathy and support and throw rocks at real life problems and (she lifts the yarn out of the glass and smirks at the color) crafting disasters.
HOLYCUTENESS: (adjusts her boots and ambles over to BIDBID)Disasters? No, no, no. Our scheming can add a fun element to what might have been a not so exciting project.
BIDBID: True, I always get great storytelling inspiration from the collective Slytherbrain. (She raises her cocktail in the direction of the brain in the jar on the mantle) To Slytherbrain!
GROUP: (raising glasses to the mantle) To Slytherbrain!
Stage lights black out.
SUENOSDEJMI enters through a stone archway stage left walks to the center of the common room. All action stops as everyone looks at her.
SUENOSDEJMI: Guys, I’ve had an absolutely horrid day. (She takes a drink offered by a hottie. To hottie) Thanks.
AERIEIRIS: I made some cheesecake, chocolate chip muffins and super chocolate brownies…and there is an entire bread and cheese plate if you are not in the mood for sweets. Oh and a pitcher of sangria too.
SUENOSDEJMI: Can I say that the best thing about being in Slytherin , aside from the eternal fame and glory is the fact that not only does everyone here offer sympathy when I’ve had a sucky day, but you all engage in a discussion of the best way to dispose of the body. Slytherin gives me the snark and sarcasm that is as crucial to my existence as oxygen.
SEAKAME: Embracing the crazy and the snark and sticking together through thick and thin. That’s what it is all about.
BIDBID looks up from an over sized martini glass in which she is dying a large pile of fingering weight yarn.
BIDBID: Yes. There is no better place to get sympathy and support and throw rocks at real life problems and (she lifts the yarn out of the glass and smirks at the color) crafting disasters.
HOLYCUTENESS: (adjusts her boots and ambles over to BIDBID)Disasters? No, no, no. Our scheming can add a fun element to what might have been a not so exciting project.
BIDBID: True, I always get great storytelling inspiration from the collective Slytherbrain. (She raises her cocktail in the direction of the brain in the jar on the mantle) To Slytherbrain!
GROUP: (raising glasses to the mantle) To Slytherbrain!
Stage lights black out.
Intermission
Please enjoy cocktails in our lobby served by the common room hottie brigade.
Act II
Stage lights come up. The group is still knitting. Lighting is focused on the bar where JOSEYBUG is pouring lime green slush out of a blender.
JOSEYBUG (to ROCKINSTICKS): Mean margarita?
ROCKINSTICKS: Sure
Suddenly the TARDIS materializes stage left. The door opens and LINUXCHIC steps out with a happy grin on her face and sighs. The TARDIS disappears as she takes a seat at the bar.
LINUXCHIC: Isn’t it ridiculously awesome to be Slytherin? You get to be so ambitious and driven to succeed.
ROCKINSTICKS: (sarcastically)And hang out with hot timelords.
LINUXCHIC: (grinning) I was simply representing our house and my housemates with honor throughout the universe.
GIRLYWITHATWIST: (breaking lip contact with the race car driver) I’d say you’re a genius, but I’m in the room. (to race car driver)Let me show you our legendary “drive” to succeed.
GIRLYWITHATWIST grabs the race car driver’s arm and pulls him off stage left as ROCKINSTICKS stands.
ROCKINSTICKS: I gotta run. I promised Severus I’d …ahem… demonstrate my mastery of Slytherin intensity of focus and quiet cunning. (She exits through the stone archway).
BIDBID settles in the vacant bar stool and turns to LINUXCHIC who is working on a beautiful lace something.
BIDBID: ooooo alpaca. What are you working on?
LINUXCHIC: Epic Shawl
BIDBID: No one admires a shapely shawl, or hat, or….(she follows a passing hottie with her eyes)torso like we do.
Girlywithatwist told me when I was sorted here that in Slytherin we don’t settle for good we want to be epic so I think your shawl will be perfect.
FOSTERSON: (sliding up to the bar)Did someone say “epic”? Do you know who else was epic, Tom Riddle. I mean even when the odd Slytherin goes bad they go bad epically.
3SECONDFISH: True and when we go good we have style and make the difficult look easy. If they do lace, we do Estonian Lace. If they spin Merino, we spin Alpaca. They spin alpaca we spin silk – in lace weight .
KNITSQUID: (Jumping up, running across the common room and yells)Go big or go home! This is the place where my ambition is matched and one upped and encouraged.
FOSTERSON: Yeah, but don’t try and show me up in class because I will knock your socks off. (grins).
EVILOVERLADY: Never give up; never surrender . We refuse to fail!
GIRLYWITHATWIST: (walking back in followed by a devoted race car driver) Group Toast! (Everyone gathers in the center of the room and raises their drinks) To Slytherin. To using all resources available, cunning and intelligence.
DAMIKNITTER: To setting your goals as wildly as you can and having great fun amongst your housemates.
CRAFTYGRYPHON: To knowing that brilliance, harnessed and directed, can make things better than we ever
imagined.
JJKAWANO: To expanding your knowledge and ability to knit and crochet.
PETITMAINS: To working hard like a Hufflepuff to achieve your goals, being brave like a Gryffindor standing up to critics, wise like a Ravenclaw and using all these traits in a cunning way. Oh and to Hotties.
GROUP: To Hotties!
KIKIBOWNS: To being cunning in your craft, and crafty in your cunning. To smiling fiendishly and living life fully. To being thick as thieves and never saying “die”.
ANQUINEA: To creative problem solving (at this moment ROCKINSTICKS stumbles back in and trips over a yarn basket. There are cautious giggles) Ahem, To clever minds used to get laughs because Slytherins love an audience.
VOX8: To winning without apologizing.
ELFLIBERATOR: To being flexible like a snake and able to weather any storm continuing to grow when the clouds clear.
DONKEYEGGS: To laughing and crying together – sticking together when times get tough. To being around people who don’t think in a straight line.
AERIEIRIS: To stretching your abilities and knit thigh highs!
SEA-JELLY: To being who you are without expectations that you will be someone else.
BIDBID: To being carried away by schemes for new activities and points getting plots. To being friendly, funny and mad.
ROCKINSTICKS: To fierceness – commit to nothing lightly.
LINUXCHIC: To greatness with dignity and panache.
The group downs their drinks as the lights dramatically go down.
Thank you to the quidditch staff for their generous support of this program and to viewer’s like you.
JOSEYBUG (to ROCKINSTICKS): Mean margarita?
ROCKINSTICKS: Sure
Suddenly the TARDIS materializes stage left. The door opens and LINUXCHIC steps out with a happy grin on her face and sighs. The TARDIS disappears as she takes a seat at the bar.
LINUXCHIC: Isn’t it ridiculously awesome to be Slytherin? You get to be so ambitious and driven to succeed.
ROCKINSTICKS: (sarcastically)And hang out with hot timelords.
LINUXCHIC: (grinning) I was simply representing our house and my housemates with honor throughout the universe.
GIRLYWITHATWIST: (breaking lip contact with the race car driver) I’d say you’re a genius, but I’m in the room. (to race car driver)Let me show you our legendary “drive” to succeed.
GIRLYWITHATWIST grabs the race car driver’s arm and pulls him off stage left as ROCKINSTICKS stands.
ROCKINSTICKS: I gotta run. I promised Severus I’d …ahem… demonstrate my mastery of Slytherin intensity of focus and quiet cunning. (She exits through the stone archway).
BIDBID settles in the vacant bar stool and turns to LINUXCHIC who is working on a beautiful lace something.
BIDBID: ooooo alpaca. What are you working on?
LINUXCHIC: Epic Shawl
BIDBID: No one admires a shapely shawl, or hat, or….(she follows a passing hottie with her eyes)torso like we do.
Girlywithatwist told me when I was sorted here that in Slytherin we don’t settle for good we want to be epic so I think your shawl will be perfect.
FOSTERSON: (sliding up to the bar)Did someone say “epic”? Do you know who else was epic, Tom Riddle. I mean even when the odd Slytherin goes bad they go bad epically.
3SECONDFISH: True and when we go good we have style and make the difficult look easy. If they do lace, we do Estonian Lace. If they spin Merino, we spin Alpaca. They spin alpaca we spin silk – in lace weight .
KNITSQUID: (Jumping up, running across the common room and yells)Go big or go home! This is the place where my ambition is matched and one upped and encouraged.
FOSTERSON: Yeah, but don’t try and show me up in class because I will knock your socks off. (grins).
EVILOVERLADY: Never give up; never surrender . We refuse to fail!
GIRLYWITHATWIST: (walking back in followed by a devoted race car driver) Group Toast! (Everyone gathers in the center of the room and raises their drinks) To Slytherin. To using all resources available, cunning and intelligence.
DAMIKNITTER: To setting your goals as wildly as you can and having great fun amongst your housemates.
CRAFTYGRYPHON: To knowing that brilliance, harnessed and directed, can make things better than we ever
imagined.
JJKAWANO: To expanding your knowledge and ability to knit and crochet.
PETITMAINS: To working hard like a Hufflepuff to achieve your goals, being brave like a Gryffindor standing up to critics, wise like a Ravenclaw and using all these traits in a cunning way. Oh and to Hotties.
GROUP: To Hotties!
KIKIBOWNS: To being cunning in your craft, and crafty in your cunning. To smiling fiendishly and living life fully. To being thick as thieves and never saying “die”.
ANQUINEA: To creative problem solving (at this moment ROCKINSTICKS stumbles back in and trips over a yarn basket. There are cautious giggles) Ahem, To clever minds used to get laughs because Slytherins love an audience.
VOX8: To winning without apologizing.
ELFLIBERATOR: To being flexible like a snake and able to weather any storm continuing to grow when the clouds clear.
DONKEYEGGS: To laughing and crying together – sticking together when times get tough. To being around people who don’t think in a straight line.
AERIEIRIS: To stretching your abilities and knit thigh highs!
SEA-JELLY: To being who you are without expectations that you will be someone else.
BIDBID: To being carried away by schemes for new activities and points getting plots. To being friendly, funny and mad.
ROCKINSTICKS: To fierceness – commit to nothing lightly.
LINUXCHIC: To greatness with dignity and panache.
The group downs their drinks as the lights dramatically go down.
Thank you to the quidditch staff for their generous support of this program and to viewer’s like you.
