The truth about vox8

ElfLiberator here, interviewing the infamous vox8, second year Slytherin, from the fourth floor broom cupboard:

E: You don’t mind if I use a Quick Quotes Quill, do you?

You have been such a busy Slytherin lately, stalking the Wild Acryls, brewing and testing invigorating potions, creating your own designs, and keeping up with your blog http://tumpedduck.wordpress.com/

Is it true you keep a sweatshop of house elves to assist you in these efforts? And which hottie minions have you been using to help accomplish these ends?

V: I was unaware that house elves were able to sweat, whenever I look in those little buggers are kicking back and swilling their drink while fashioning togas out of the very fabrics they are supposed to be … did you mention Hotties?

As you may know, I was able to secure the original of Captain Hot-pants himself, Nathan Fillian. Luckily the other denizens of the Pit are generous and I have a Spike and Ewan MacGregor on semi-permanent loan. I enjoy, shall we say, refereeing the discussions between Malcom and Obi-wan regarding the superiority of their respective “Space Operas”. But other than ferrying refreshments and stress relief, what are they really good for?

Q: Of all your past knitting projects, which one most made you want to stab eyes out (your own or someone else’s) with your needles?

V: I have one on the needles at the moment that I can barely bring myself to pick up. My sister decided to knit and purchased the yarn and the pattern at a LYS several years ago. The yarn is 4 balls of Lang Pearl, which is an acrylic/mohair/poly mix that really wants to remain in its beautiful ball. The pattern is also Lang and really quite simple. Two rows over and over and over again. Unfortunately every 3rd stitch on one row is p2tog tbl. On size 10 needles. Slick needles. Did I mention the mohair? When I have managed to knit a rectangle about as long as I am tall I then do some funky origami seaming and somehow have a top.

It hurts us.

E: Where is the strangest place you’ve ever … crafted?

V: I am afraid I am fairly pedestrian when it comes to … crafting. The one time I actually took my knitting to the Dr’s office they saw me almost immediately, can you imagine? The nerve! I have joined a knitting night group and we knit in a Tea House. Other than that it is just the usual; State Parks, back seat of the car, friend’s house on the sofa.

E: Which was your favorite Harry Potter book? Which movie? Any particular reasons for your choices?

V: Really, that is quite the Sophie’s Choice you have given me. I could say Deathly Hallows because it is the longest, but unfortunately there was a bit too much angst in the tent for me in that one. They all just blend together for me, into one long story. I would have to re-read them all to make a decision. Oh, the Horror!

I have yet to see the new film, but so far my favorite has been Order of the Phoenix. Why? One word: Bellatrix.

E: If you could speak Parseltongue, what would you ask snakes about?

V: What do those Scots really wear under those kilts?

E: What would you least like to run into in the Forbidden Forest?

V: Gonna have to be boring with this one. Giant spiders would send me screaming for the hills.

E: Which HP character would you most like to run into while roaming Hogwarts at night, and where?

V: The answer is so obvious that it would be cliché, so I will ignore my first (baser) impulse. If I weren’t a student and therefore likely to be disciplined (for that I would go with the obvious choice) I would very much like to have a drunken night chatting with McGonagall. I have the feeling that there is much more to her than meets the eye and she would be a hoot. Where doesn’t really matter as long as there is Butter Beer.

E: Thank you so much for your time, vox8, you’ve been a real sport!

Signing off,

--ElfLiberator, blog reporter