I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our top story this week - Sorting Hat Spottings.  It has been confirmed that the Sir Hat has returned from his vacation of dalliances with a certain mystery scarf off the coast of Crete.  A Slytherin Hottie sent to pose as a pool boy at the resort informed us that Mr. Hat and Ms. Scarf had large deliveries of food owled in from "Fair Foods Inc."  Meals included doughnut burgers, chocolate covered bacon, and deep fried whatzits.  One must ask how the mysterious Ms. Scarf maintains her svelte and lacy figure.

Upon arrival back at Hogwarts Sir Hat belched, headed up to the headmistress' office, appearing hours later freshly showered to oversee the Sorting Ceremony.

Weather:  Thunderous WIP clouds will be seen throughout the Forbidden Forest for the remainder of the month. 

In other stories, Headmistress gives castle the staff.  New and returning staff were welcomed this week.  Students have already begun to assign unflattering animal characteristics to them in the tradition of "The Great Greasy Bat of the Dungeons".  One Slytherin was quoted as saying, "Silly rabbit, bats are for breakfast."  Slytherin alumnus Master Osbourne has declined to comment.

Forgivable Curse of the Week:  GaugeGuano

From the Sub-Human Interest Desk, preparation.  What are you doing to prepare for September 1st?  Sorting stash, swatching OWLs, creating Frankensteinesque Phoenix - Newt hybrids?  Leave a comment and let us know.   I'm swatching an OWL, realizing I have more worsted weight stash than should be allowed by law and generally bracing myself for new classes.

This is Rockinsticks signing out and saying, giggle, there really isn't much else to do.

Weekend Report!

What?  There is other news?  Who cares?  Slither on you magnificent crafters.

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our top story this week, future domination.  While Slytherins nested in velvet sofas with tasty beverages projecting an image of coolness while awaiting the announcement of the house cup winner, plotting began for Winter 2011.  Top scoring will go to those who can tame the OWLs, NEWTS and newly introduced Phoenix Missions.  The need to win all the points next term had snakes cleaning their crafting areas and sorting stash for next term.  One Slytherin was quoted as saying, "One OWL, a NEWT and an Order of the Phoenix Mission = all in a day for me."  Note:  Slytherins in mirror are crazier than they appear.

Weather:  Slowly drifting stash will fill the skies over the dungeon.

In other stories, Howlers for Double OWLers. 

3SecondFish

Ancient Runes

Divination

Eurekas

Divination

DADA - Horcrux Option

EvilMichelle

Astronomy

Care of Magical Creatures - Bowtruckles Option

HermioneJean

History of Magic - Draco, Severus and Bellatrix

Herbology

Kims

History of Magic - Cho, Hermione, Luna

Studie Aux Muggles

KnitMainea 

Divination

History of Magic - Fleur, Luna, Tonks

Maigret 

Charms

Study of the most awesome of Muggles

Misselle 

History of Magic - Holy Trinity of Bad Arse Witches - Minerva, Molly, Bellatrix

Muggle Studies

Needlesnswiffers

Transfiguration

Herbology

Peanutzmom 

Care of Magical Creatures

DADA

PEBY

Care of Magical Creatures - Common Welsh Green, Thestral, Chinese Fireball, Hippocampus


And lets not forget our amazingly dedicated Quest (among other things) Mistress....Abycat

Divination

Muggle Studies

I for one am completely in awe of these projects, any one of which would be enough to do me in.  So join me in howling out your disagrees to these superstars of the OWL thread.

Forgivable Curse of the Week:  Sweet tangled cro-hexapuffs!

From the Sub-Human Interest Desk, Sssssssso Close.  Weekend Report wishes to welcome those No Longer NQFYs who stopped by the pit this week, BlueBunny, Deanmama6, Txfish, and Jackiez32.  If you are still hovering in the dungeons (or passed out behind the curtains - its all cool) leave a comment and tell us a little something about yourself.

Well, that's all for this broken snake, doh, I meant Snake on Break.  Rockinsticks signing out and saying, someone really needs to bathe the hotties.