Friday, April 29, 2011

Last of the Weekend Reports....for April

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our top story this week Slytherins report that the Sorting Hat has abandoned his usual quaint and prophetic poetry in favor of a rather snarky and at times lewd questionnaire.  An excerpt of this new form follows:

1.  You walk into the Slytherin Common room by mistake.  Your reaction is:
      a.  Blush and mumble, "Oh, excuse me I was looking for the loo."
      b.  Wave your wand wildly at your own head yelling, "Obliviate! By all that is holy Obliviate!"
      c.  Transfigure your robes into something slinky and green, grab a well worn hottie and settle into the sofa.
      d.  I do not venture into the dungeons alone.

72.  Your idea of a perfect evening includes:
     a.  A long walk on the shores of the dark lake.
     b.  Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
     c.  Studying
     d.  Rubbing a skein of Alpaca across your bare belly while Severus reads PT,L aloud to you as topless Lucius feeds you blackberries.

428.  A fellow housemate runs through the common room shrieking and showing off  the most beautiful engagement ring evar in brilliant house colors.  You:
     a.  Give her a big hug and say congratulations.
     b.  Begin placing liquor orders for the 2 year long bachelorette party.
     c.  Smile warmly then spend the rest of the week scowling at your own DH for being so completely house ignorant.
     d.  All of the above.  

666.  Final question.  You might be a Slytherin if:
     a.  You need a font for sarcasm.
     b.  You think being called "snarky" is a compliment.
     c.  You think that chatting in the forbidden forest is a fine way to spend the evening.
     d.  You are currently Headmistress of the HPKCHC.

This reporter is unsure if it was the result of too many Mexican sandwiches or too much prime tequila over break that has prompted this change in Mister Sorty's process, but I for one applaud his new efforts.

Stay tuned next week when we begin to report on the starting line of Spring term.

This is Rockinsticks signing off for another week.

Friday, April 22, 2011

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  In our top story Headmistress Needlesnswiffers proved herself a tease this week when she revealed that there is a 25% chance she will in fact be joining the great house of Slytherin next term.  Slytherins ran about the common room giddy and cleaning up in hopes that the Hat would determine their common room worthy.  One errant crafter was quoted as saying, "Yeah, I heard the Head of House even imported special exotic kind of hotties just for the Headmistress."  So we all wait with bated breath to find out if we will be the noble house of our heroic Headmistress.

Weather:  A brewing storm of NQFY's will be hovering overhead for the next few days.

In a related story - Sorting.  There are only four more days to present yourself for sorting so if you are a NQFY or a veteran Slytherin get thee to the ceremony.  The more ambitious snakes we have the better chance we have at victory.

Forgivable Curse of the Week:  Oh Basilisk Breath!

Over at the Sub-Human Interest desk we have.....we have....we have absolutely nothing to say.

Have a great week my sinuous pals and next week we'll only be one day from a new term.

This is Rockinsticks signing off.

Friday, April 15, 2011

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  A mild sadness spread across the Snake Pit this week as Slytherin's learned that they did not bring home the House Cup.  With true Slyther-style the chicks of the dungeon got off the sofa du wallow and raised their glasses to a game well played and a pile of finished objects.

At some point in the evening several crafty witches cast their patronuses who joined the debauchery with spectacular ease.  Joseybug's Horse and Vox8's Elephant were later found collapsed in a corner.  Head of House, Girlywithatwist was seen the next day casting intricate anti-patronus wards on the liquor cabinet.

Weather:  Lazily drifting WIPS will glide across a brilliant break month blue sky this week.

In other news Abycat and Severus (who were strangely missing all night from the party) handed out hangover potion and began to circulate news of next term's plan for Slyther-Domination.  Yes, we will pick ourselves up with the Slytherin Quest Double OWL Dare.  Third years and above two OWLs....300 points...yessssss.  Young ins you can compete too with a single OWL.  So, lets start swatching.  The sooner your proposal is approved the sooner you can cast on for real.  Let's overwhelm our examiner on May 1 with a pile of proposals and a taste of what Slytherin is going to bring next term.

Forgivable Curse of the Week:  Patrounus Poop!

From the Sub-Human Interest Desk - the starting line.  What are you doing in these last couple of weeks to prepare for new classes on May 1st?  Are you sorting stash, swatching OWLs, cracking your knuckles in anticipation, obsessively checking for the sorting thread?
I've been sorting stash.  I am realizing that I could in all likelihood open a yarn store in my living room called The Single Skein.  I am only mildly embarrassed. 

So Slyther-on my wicked and wonderful friends.  May is on it's way.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Weekend Report - Wildlife Edition

I'm Rockinsticks and this is Weekend Report.  This week we are featuring Wildlife Watch, a look at the completed Slytherin OWLs from Winter Term. 

But first we stop to ooooo and awwwww at the House of Slytherin NEWT completed by Eueka.  For this little bit of testing nastiness she completed five, count them five finished objects.

Nicely done Eureka!
Now without further ado - the parade of OWLs.

 So there you have it.  The compilation of all things avian from your fellow snakes.  If you see something you love go to their project page and leave a comment.  It's the best feeling in the world to get that little earburn saying someone loves you.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Falling off the Slytherin Wagon

A spell had been cast against a few of us this semester. Some students from other houses in Spells and Potions class were playing around with a spell and potion that when mixed together would make Slytherin students not be able to hand in homework and would be stuck in the library working away on things that would never be finished.

This is what happened to me. One moment I was busy studying, handing in assignments and being a productive member of the House of Slytheerin and all it entails. Then, one morning I was really thirsty and drank some coffee. Maybe that was the first step as muggles say it stunts your growth. I heard some laughter from students not of our House but just ignored it as them being silly students laughing over something one of the teachers said while they were brown nosing.

The next thing I knew it was the end of the semester. The memories of the remainder of the last few weeks was reading lots of books but not getting anywhere, eating, sleeping and then doing it all over again. The feeling was most unproductive. Was this their way of gaining more house points so they would win? I am not sure. But I will not fall for that again.

So now, what do those of us do who were hit with this spell and drank the potion? We make sure we sign up for next semester and plan our revenge by getting as many points as possible. Never give up.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Weekend Report - On Location

This is Rockinsticks reporting on location from the new Slytherin Deli in the Snake Pit that opened to rave reviews this week.

Some of the more popular menu items include:

The Spiky Severus
Toasted dark rye with Cambozola, pickled beets and arugula.
The Double Doctor
A sweet and spicy grilled sandwich with turkey, pepper jack, and little strawberry preserves for that sweet aftertaste.
The Racy Doctor
½ of our Double Doctor sized down for a speedy finish.
The Double Racer
Smoked salmon, crumbled bacon, cucumber and cream cheese on a toasted English muffin.  A real quickie for the Slytherin in a hurry.
The Miss-Sorted Twins
Grilled ham and cheese.
The JG-L Chester
Sourdough hard roll packed with a colorful array of roasted vegetables brushed with spicy chili oil.
Between a Rockinsticks and an Abycat place
A slightly spicy smoked sausage on a dark rye hard roll with roasted peppers and a creamy spread.
The Riddle
Garlic bagel toasted with stinky cheese and crazysauce.
The Honey Badger
Whole wheat with honey and larva.

All sandwiches come with a pickle and your choice of salty chips or a salad.  Refreshing beverages are of course provided and served by the resident hotties.  Desserts include yogurt with chocolate buttons and a cigarette.

Weather: Sandwich.
Forgivable Curse: Sandwich.
This is Sandwich Rockinsticks signing off and saying, "Craft crazy and don't talk with your mouth full."